Fights

I have gotten into my share of fights in the past.
With some people these fights are the simple yelling back and forth causing the room to rumble.
With others I have had the silent fights. Fights that drive me insane.
Then there are those select few that, we fight in calm cool voices. The emotions run deep in those fights. Strange, I know.

Problem with fights, is not the fight itself. Those will pass. The problem is the resolution of those fights. Setting aside, who was right and who was wrong in the fight, it is always interesting to see how certain people will respond.

Passive Aggressive People:
The name is an oxymoron. They are passive. But wait! They are aggressive? These people love to let fights go on for months. They seem to have a mindset that, "if I don't say anything, then the problem will go away for now, and I wont have to deal with it till later. This person just deserves silent treatment. I'm not going to call them, I'm not going to write them, I'm not going to use any form of communication. Even if I am in the wrong, but I most definitely am not. The other person should come up to me and apologize. I'm going to just ignore them."
These people don't end fights. They don't care enough to. Things either a) get better with no one saying anything or b) never get better. I don't hate passive aggressive people, I just think that there is a better way to go around doing things. Perhaps a civil conversation as to why they are ignoring and neglecting. Communication is key, because ___insert large percentage here___ of the time fights are started by miscommunication. Passive aggressive people need to talk things out, even though they don't like to at all.

Emotional People:
Logic is thrown out the window. Emotional people, I'm pretty sure that this includes me, like to get all riled up and emotional about something, and then someone ruins their party. Feelings are hurt in some way or another, and the inception of a fight. Emotional people need to just calm down, take time to think clearly, and then do what they want to do by talking to the person about why they are upset. Emotional people usually mute the other person when they are in a fight, because of the fact that at that moment, the only person who is correct is themselves. Emotional people need to cool down. They end fights by storming off in a fit of rage, or by breaking down in tears. Please, just end a fight like an adult. Without screaming and yelling, but again, by using your head.

"Logical" People:
Emotions are stupid. Thats what these wonderful people thing. You got a speeding ticket? It's your fault for speeding, stop crying. In fights these people don't understand why snot is running down your face, they just look at you and think to themselves "what the heck is going on. We were just talking about what we should do about dinner, and then they blew up at me for saying "where ever is fine"... I was being serious, anywhere we eat is fine. This person just gets too emotional all the time. They need to use their head. I can't believe that they are so controlled by their emotions." or "I just said what was on my mind. Those pants do make her butt look huge."
These people have fights usually due to their insensitivity to the strange workings of emotions, or when two logical people find a chink in their flawless logic. Usually fights are not in yells and screams, but rather they are demeaning fights where the goal is to demoralize the opponent till they surrender. Emotions are a large part of what makes us human, so people, please realize that you are not a robot, not everyone is completely "logical". Sometimes emotions get the best of people, be understanding. Don't belittle people.

The People Closest to You:
These fights are the worst. These are the worst kinds of fights, because no matter what, you lose. This most definitely isn't saying that all fights with people you care about are unnecessary, because sometimes, those close to you make stupid mistakes, and they need someone to point it out to them, and yeah that causes strife. I'm saying you lose because it hurts. It always hurts arguing with someone you deeply care about. Point out to them something that they aren't seeing, or just trying to help them correct something. I think the most beautiful thing is when someone realizes that they were wrong, and they come for forgiveness. That is a beautiful thing. The past, then must be forgotten, the fight blotted out from memory. It is over. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. It is most necessary for the completion of a fight. It takes humility to ask for forgiveness and humility to realize that forgiveness comes only from God. It is necessary to forgive, it is more necessary to realize that we are in no position over the other person, the only person over that person that has the power to forgive them is God. When Adam blamed Eve for causing him to sin, he was simply trying to get away from the responsibility of his sin, but really, the only person who was able to forgive them was not themselves. They could not simply look at each other and say "Adam, I'm sorry, I love you, I'm sorry that I made you eat the fruit that jacked all of humanity" and "Eve, it's ok! I'm sure that it will all work out!". That would be great for their personal relationship, but guess what, the sin had to be forgiven by God, through Jesus Christ. It is super important to forgive, it is more important to let God forgive.

I had this urge to write a letter to someone, basically telling them "I told you so". It was going to be one of those pride filled letters, basically telling the person how I was right, and how they were wrong. How all the fights that we had in the past were unnecessary and the fact that so many problems stemmed off of their inability to listen to what I was telling them. I was going to.

I'm not, because telling someone "I told you so" isn't the right response. My response is "Thank God, now you can finally move forward. I'm glad you figured it out. I'm glad God's been doing great things in your life."

It's amazing what can happen in two weeks. I went from thinking that I knew where my life was heading. Now, I just sit back and watch God orchestrate the cacaphonous symphony that is my life. No more saying "I'm going to be __________" or "we are going to _________" or even "in five years ______". I'm really going to work on saying "I hope God lets _________" "I trust that God has things undercontrol", "I'm happy where I am now". Its fun to dream of the future, but it is a very dangerous thing to do in my honest opinion.