1: Slave to Pleasure

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  -Matthew 6:19-21

I had a dream last night, a dream that I just vaguely remember even though I woke up only minutes ago, that had one person talk to me. It was a heated discussion, possibly a fight, but I knew that the other person did not care about me at all. This person was explaining to me why they hated me.
I've been having similar dreams for the past few days, with various people, including various pastors, tell me how they outright hate me. Their words pierced my heart, and although it was a dream, I could feel the weight of their words.

I am a slave to pleasure. I store up for myself treasures on earth, in the form of human relationships and physical enjoyment. My mind is more focused on "fellowship" with people, hoping that the relationship formed would provide me with some lasting purpose. I am a slave to relationships. I want to feel good also. I want to eat the best kind of food, go to the most amazing places, have the most fun. What an exhilaration thing it is to do all the things you want to do, buy all the things that you want to buy, and just be who you want to be. I want to look good for me. I want to look good for you. I want you to want me. I am a slave to physical pleasure.

I have not been a slave for Christ. Simply stated, the fruit of my life show no chains attached to Him. Although I do believe that those chains still exist, I have been attaching myself to the things of this word. It is as if my chains to Christ have been pulling me closer to him, but I have decidedly attached myself to the chains of this world. My body is about to rip into two. Christ is pulling at me too hard. I am coming to a point, where I have to decide, if I am going to loosen the chains of Christ, or loosen my grip on this world.

I choose Christ.

The most exciting thing about following Christ, which I am wholeheartedly anticipating, is that He does all the work. This will be the most daunting task in fact, because I have been conditioned by the world that things are in my control, so when the time arises when Christ tells me to "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" I interpret it as; I can not be righteous. I don't know how to "seek first the kingdom." But Christ can make me righteous. Christ will bring down the Kingdom. Then I will experience all the amazing things that God has created.

My grip is too tight on this world. I pray today, that Christ comes down and loosens these chains.